Experiencing the devastating loss of a baby through stillbirth is a deeply painful emotional and physical ordeal. In the aftermath, families deserve time to heal, grieve, and recover. Yet, many parents are denied access to Paid Family Leave (PFL) because state and workplace policies narrowly define its purpose as caring for a live baby.
This exclusion fails to acknowledge that stillbirth is a birth, and the recovery period is no less critical for these birthing people and their families.
Here’s how you can advocate for your right to Paid Family Leave after stillbirth and find the resources and support you need.
Understanding Paid Family Leave Policies
Paid Family Leave policies vary by employer and state, but they often overlook stillbirth in their definitions. Here’s what to know:
PFL typically is meant to provide time to bond with the newborn baby and recover after the birth of a child. This time is equally necessary for physical and emotional recovery after a stillbirth.
Some policies explicitly require caring for a family member to qualify. That requirement fails to consider that healing after stillbirth is a form of caregiving— for yourself and for the family unit navigating grief.
Even if you as the birthing parent are (implicitly or explicitly) barred from qualifying for PFL, there may be workarounds available:
In many cases, even if the birthing parent is prohibited from receiving PFL, the non-birthing parent often still qualifies (to care for the serious medical condition - being postpartum - of the birthing parent).
In some states, you can claim Temporary Disability Insurance (TDI) to care for yourself. Even if stillbirth itself is not covered, complications such as postpartum depression and PTSD may be.
Don't assume that the HR rep or State employee you are speaking with actually knows the intricacies of the existing policies around stillbirth. Many will have never encountered this situation before and may not even know what a stillbirth is. In addition, most laws/policies have overlooked stillbirth completely, so there is unlikely to be clear language to guide them. Do not hesitate to escalate your request and demand the support you deserve - your life and economic security are quite literally at stake.
Steps to Advocate for Your Paid Leave After a Stillbirth
1. Review Your Policy:
Start by closely examining your workplace and/or state’s Paid Leave guidelines. Identify any ambiguous language that could support your case, such as "recovery from childbirth" as a qualifying event.
2. Gather Medical Documentation:
In addition to a Certificate of Stillbirth or Fetal Death Certificate, request a note from your healthcare provider detailing the need for recovery time due to childbirth and its complications, whether physical or emotional.
3. Use Advocacy Language:
When discussing PFL with your employer or HR, frame your situation around recovery from childbirth and highlight that stillbirth is legally recognized as a birth. (Bereavement leave - while absolutely deserved - has less legal precedent and is therefore easier for employers or state officials to dismiss.)
4. Cite Legal Precedents:
Look for state-specific legal cases or policies that support your eligibility. For example, California and New York explicitly include recovery from stillbirth as a qualifying event for temporary disability (TDI) or PFL.
5. Lean on Advocacy Groups:
Connect with organizations like PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy, which works tirelessly to advocate for families and improve policies. PUSH’s Cassidy Perone is a shining example of a parent who fought back when her PFL was revoked after her daughter Olivia was stillborn. Cassidy’s story continues to fuel advocacy for loss families in NY pushing together for paid leave for loss moms.
Resources for Advocacy
- PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy: Provides tools for navigating systemic gaps in stillbirth prevention and support. Our advocacy includes legislative efforts to redefine PFL policies.
- National Partnership for Women & Families: Offers comprehensive guides to understanding PFL laws and state-specific policies.
- Local Legislators: Reach out to your representatives to share your story and advocate for inclusive PFL policies in your state.
Press Spotlight: Elizabeth O’Donnell and the Fight for Change
Elizabeth O’Donnell, a mother and advocate with PUSH, experienced firsthand the injustice of having her PFL revoked after her daughter Aaliyah was stillborn. She channeled her grief into action, joining forces with PUSH to campaign for fair policies that recognize stillbirth as a birth. Her story has been featured in major media outlets and serves as a rallying cry for all families navigating this challenge.
“Moving forward, my goal would be to change the policy to include stillbirth and the definition of birth of a child. One of the qualifying events of paid family leave is the birth of a child and I did that.” – Elizabeth O’Donnell, Aaliyah's mom
Advocacy to Create Change
In New York, advocates led by PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy are striving to amend the state's Temporary Disability (TDI) & Paid Family Leave (PFL) policies to include mothers who experience stillbirth, addressing a significant gap in support for grieving families. Despite unanimous passage in the Senate (twice!) and bipartisan co-sponsorship from 2/3 of Assemblymembers, the bill stalled in the Assembly, leaving thousands of NY stillbirth families without adequate leave during such a critical time. To support this initiative, individuals can 1) contact their state legislators to request they back the latest version of the bill, and 2) raise awareness through community engagement and social media platforms. For more information and advocacy resources, read our latest update.
In New Jersey, advocates like Jackie Mancinelli from Start Healing Together are championing legislation to provide paid family leave for parents grieving pregnancy loss. Proposed bills, such as S621 and A5084, aim to amend existing laws to include bereavement leave for miscarriage and stillbirth. To support these efforts, individuals can 1) contact their state legislators to express support for these bills and 2) raise awareness through community engagement and social media platforms.
Moving Forward: Join the Advocacy Movement
Every family’s experience matters. By sharing your story, connecting with advocacy groups, and pressing for change, you can help ensure that Paid Family Leave policies are inclusive and equitable.
If stillbirth has touched your life, know that you are not alone. Let’s work together to change the narrative and demand policies that support all families — because healing after loss is essential, and stillbirth is still birth.
Share your story or learn more:
- Visit PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy
- Contact your local representative to advocate for policy reform.
- Connect with Elizabeth O’Donnell and the PUSH team to get involved in our campaigns.
Let’s make sure every family gets the time they need to heal. #unitedwepush